Maybe my perception is wrong, but when I think of starting a blog, I consider myself so so selfish! Who wants to read about me talking about MY life and what I am doing and MY thoughts on life and other random things. However, I understand that there are a few people who want to know what my life in Boise is like and how I'm doing. I've also realized that people seem to be encouraged by what God has done and is doing in me. It's a little difficult jumping in to a story that's already started. I feel like I need to play a lot of catch up. So I'll either put a lot into one post, or post very often until I feel anyone who reads my stories can understand and appreciate what's going on here in Boise.
I had a hard time trying to pick a name for my blog, but I chose "Living Fearless" because that's what God told me to do in high school and ever since then, my life has never been the same. Moving to Boise hasn't been the most life changing decision I've made; chosing to live fearlessly for God has been. Moving to Boise is just a result of that decision. However, moving to Boise HAS changed my life...dramatically. I can't wait to see what God does through my obedience. :)
So I have story I always tell first when talking about what has happened since I've moved. I guess I'll just keep with the tradition and share that one first:
God gave me a really big kick in the pants during my first few weeks in Boise. It was hard to admit to myself, and most of all to people, that even though I've grown up in church my whole life, at the age of 20, I had never prayed the sinner's prayer over anyone before. I'd never put a target on someones back for me to try to win for Christ. I'd rarely even prayed for someone I knew to be saved. My mentality was, "I serve in the church. There are people who minister to Christians and there are people who minister to the lost. I'm not called to witness outside the church."
One night I was reading in John and read the Great Commission, "Go into all the world and make disciples." God took the opportunity to let me know, "I didn't exclude anyone from that order. EVERYONE is to go and make disciples....that means you too." I wanted to ignore it or find an argument, but God had confronted me about it so strongly, there was no getting around it. I had to admit to God and myself that I had ignored and ran in fear from the biggest thing God called me to do...make disciples. Whether a person is a leader in the church or not, they are called to go make disciples. Whether a person is shy or out-going, they are called to go make disciples. There is no excuse or exception, EVERY Christian is call to GO MAKE DISCIPLES.
Sadly, as soon as I decided to change, I had to ask, "How do I get someone saved?" I was SOO embarrassed I even had to ask that question. I didn't get a direct, straight answer. I think it's because there's more than one way to catch a fish and different bait attracts different fish. But the scripture and song, "they will know we are Christians by our love" came to mind. Also the scripture talking about us overcoming by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony came to mind as well. So I had to find some "fish."
I transferred from the Portland Children's Place clothing store to the one in Boise. Which was nice because one; I didn't have to find another job. Two; I had a small pond to fish in. What was really cool was that it didn't take long for people to find out I was a Christian because they all asked why I had moved to Boise. (since it wasn't to go to the college) It became obvious when I told them, "I moved here to help start a new church." For some of my co-workers, the conversation died there. Others however were intrigued and asked more about my story. For one girl in particular, just in telling her my story, she told me, "Wow, you are so strong. I have such a high respect for you now." Her and a few others became very curious with my lifestyle and curious about the church. Keep in mind that none of these people are Christians. Matter of fact, one is Mormon. I LOVE that just in my obeying God, that that witnesses to people. They see the sacrifice I've made and what I've left behind and are so curious why I would do that.. :) I love it!
I want everyone at my work to be saved, but there are a few that are particularly heavy on my heart. One has become a friend to me. She's in her 40's, has kids and happened to be the best at "winning at the wrap." (gets the highest percentage in emails, phone numbers, and credit card apps) She's a great people person and has a lot of influence in the work area even though she's not a manager. But one day she comes up to me and says, "So Becca, I normally wouldn't like you and would be very jealous of you, but you are so NICE, it's impossible to not like you!" haha. Just try and imagine my awkward response to THAT one. Another day, I had just won a PSP Go in a drawing from work (your name gets put in every time you get someone to apply for a children's Place credit card) and the same girl comes up to me and says, "Normally I'd be really jealous and hate your guts right now, but I'm glad that out of everyone here, you are the one who won it." She's also told me several times that she goes home and talks about me to her husband. She even brought in her husband and little boy to work just to meet me.
One day, I walked into the beak room and caught her crying. This girl NEVER cries so it was a big deal. Found out a customer was a complete jerk to her and hurt her so much, she had to take an early break. Well, I was going to get a gift for the company's gift exchange anyway, so I went out and found a "bad work day recovery kit." It has self-motivational cards, band aids, a bad work day handbook, a charm and a few other funny items in there. When I gave it to her, she was so moved that she almost cried again.
I'm not telling you this to puff myself up AT ALL. It's just me sharing my excitement about how God is using me to show people His love. I LOVE seeing God's love have an impact on someones life.
There's another girl at work that I'm praying over and pouring on the love. She's in her late twenties, has two small kids and is a Mormon. I'm not sure how much I hope I really have in making her a disciple, but I'm determined to show her the truth in love. I haven't preached to her at all and neither has she. I catch her watching me though. Not in a creepy way, but in a deeply curious way. I can almost see the wheels physically spin in her head. One day she threw out a comment about how broke she was at the time. Her favorite pretzel place in the mall happened to be having a mall employee special where you could get a pretzel for a buck. I asked if she was gonna get one and she told me no. She didn't have the money. So I pulled out the dollar I had in my pocket (it was my bus money I ended up not using that day) and handed it out to her, saying, "Here. Go and get a pretzel." She shook her head and told me, "No. no I can't take that from you." I assured her that I was planning on not having that dollar at the end of my day anyway and told her to just take it. The moment she grabbed it, she started crying. It threw me off....I didn't expect her to cry. Luckily there weren't customers around. I figured out that it meant so much because one, she didn't have a great lunch that day, two, she has no friends outside work, and three, she felt unloved at the time. It's amazing what a small act of kindness will do. Since then, she's asked me questions about the church and I just see a strong fondness towards me from her. I'm at a loss of what else to do for her other than love her. I know it's especially hard for a Mormon to convert to Christianity, but we'll see what God does.
I can't wait til I get to the day where I'll get to pray the sinners prayer over one of my co-workers. I want to overcome this obstacle of never leading someone to Christ. I know it'll be exhilarating and addicting the moment it happens. :)