About a week ago, I went for a walk to the store about 10 minutes away from my place. Usually every time I go on walks, it turns into prayer time. This time, however, I was silent for the first part of the walk even though I KNEW I needed to say something.
Have you ever had that happen to you? You KNOW you need to say something to God, but you either don’t have the words or you’re in such pain, you can’t speak out loud? I sure have…it sucks. From experience, I know that the longer I’m silent, the less likely I am to say anything at all. Then the moment for me to bear my heart to God leaves.
Anyway, I decided to just tell God how I feel. I told Him how I know I’m close to Him and that I love Him, but that the pursuit of His heart is no longer in existence. The desire was there, but no action came with it. I also shared my feelings of inadequacy for leading a worship team on my own. In addition, I felt like everything I was doing was mediocre. And I KNOW that I KNOW I’m called to a life FAR above mediocre. So I told God how desperately I wanted to see Him move in a bigger way and how I want to pursue Him again.
For me that was a breakthrough moment. I’ve been reading my Bible more lately. (Usually my flesh wants to pray and worship but avoid my Bible) Because I’ve been studying my Bible more, God has been showing me some crazy stuff that eventually I need to share with you because it’s so heavy on my heart for the people I’m close to and love. But since I’ve prayed that prayer when I was on my walk, I’ve already seen God begin to answer it.
Last Sunday, before the team prayed before service, Pastor Jason told us that God has been telling Him, pressing him to dream bigger for the church. He shared with us Ephesians 3:20 which says, “Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work in us.” PJ challenged us all to meditate on that verse and raise our expectations and make the things we ask God to do to be BIGGER.
The whole team was stirred, excited and motivated to believe and expect bigger things for us to do. That service, God was in the room. During the sermon, something was different about how PJ was preaching. You could see that God had something specific to say through him. As a result of God moving, we had our first salvation. AHHH!!!! Some of us were in tears because we know it’s just the beginning and we’re so overjoyed.
I told a friend about how we had our first salvation and he responded, “many more to come.” He’s right! There are MANY more to come! “Immeasurable more than all we ask or imagine.”
I can feel us gaining momentum every week. It has started out real slow and to the team, we are all itching for God to do SOMETHING through us. We all know God is going to do great things through us and want it to happen now! It can be disheartening putting in so much work every week, since September, and not see much movement. But now we know, we know, we’re gaining momentum and God is going to start to do crazy stuff through REC.
The next day, I wrote out Ephesians 3:20 on a piece of paper and taped it to my front door. I spent time just reading it and saying it out loud and letting the meaning and power of that scripture sink in. Imagine if that’s where our faith is at everyday!! That God do “immeasurably MORE than we ask or imagine!!”
So what are you asking God to do? Where are your goals set? How high are they? Are you living a mediocre life? Or a life that is at a lower standard than you KNOW you are to live?
I know, oh believe me I know how scary it can be to put your complete trust in God. I know that you have seen disappointment; that you’ve been let down. I know it can be painful to even ask God to do something big for you. I know people may have told you that you can’t do it. Oh how I know how hard the road can be to walk out the extraordinary life God has asked you to live.
But pain is NOT a “no.”
Disappointment is not a “no.”
Falling on your face is not a “no.”
Failure is not a “no.”
Loss is not a “no!”
Sacrifice is not a “no!”
Obstacles in your way are not “no’s!”
Unmet expectations are not “no’s!”
Persecution is not a “no!”
Pain, disappointment, falling on your face, failure, loss, sacrifice, obstacles, unmet expectations and persecution are where God comes through for you and shows you His POWER; That NOTHING is impossible for Him! All those places are where He shows His great love for you and rescues you again and again.
I do not understand why sometimes it takes a while for God to move. But I know His timing is perfect.
I do not understand why sometimes doors that we thought should’ve been open and closed. But I know His ways are perfect.
I do not understand why sometimes it seems where God is leading us seems to be going backwards. But I know His wisdom is incomprehendable.
I do not understand why sometimes when we need God the most, He feels so far away. But I know His love for us is stronger than anything you will ever encounter or fathom.
When it comes to doors being closed, even when we prayed and believed for them to be open, God cannot be told to do something and how to do it. I know for me, I knew I was to be a worship leader since I was a young teenager. I thought I was supposed to go to Hillsong and learn to be a worship leader there. No. The door was shut. I thought I was supposed to go to the International House of Prayer in Kansas City. No. The door was shut. I thought I was supposed to go to YWAM in Hawaii. No. Another door shut. I thought I HAD to go to some school to learn how to lead people in worship. I searched and searched for one but every single one had its door closed to me. The only door that was open was to intern at Life Christian Center under Pastor Jason and serve the church. Then I was unexpectedly made the worship leader for the youth services. There God was training me and showing me what it takes to lead a team. Next I learned Pastor Jason and his family was moving to Boise. Why God had held me back and said, “no” all those times made sense now. I didn’t need to go to a worship school…because God was training me up on how to worship Him and lead people into His presence right where I was. Suddenly my dream was sitting on my lap and all those closed doors made sense. The road God wanted me to take to become a worship leader was COMPLETELY different than I expected or could even come up with.
That may also be the case with you. You’re asking God, “God!! I thought you wanted me to be an actor (as an example)!!?? But You just shut the door in my face!” and God is saying, “Yes, I know. I don’t want you to go that way. Follow me, I’ll show you the way.”
So trust Him and follow Him. Stop expecting God to do things a specific way. Just expect God to move.
One last thing before I end this entry: If you’re afraid to believe God will do “immeasurable more than we ask or imagine,” then remember this verse, 1 John 4:18, “Perfect love drives out fear.” When you realize how deeply God loves you and what you mean to Him, your confidence that God is ABLE and WILL come through for you will be unwavering.
Love you all,Becca